Monday, September 8, 2014

5 Ways To Know When To Ditch A Relationship?

 Don't friends and family effortlessly tell you to DITCH your relationship? 


Some are intrusive, some have your best interest, and some truly hate the way you are being treated. They stand on the outside, looking on the inside, and see your life in disarray. It's easy for them to say DITCH, because they don't have as must invested in the relationship. They do have an investment, you know? They've invested time and energy into being your support system while you navigate the negative relationship. They've listened to maybe one too many bitch sessions. I'm not talking about unsolicited advice, where someone tells you to DITCH your partner based on their apparent disapproval. I'm taking about after multiple moan sessions  they reply, "DITCH THE BUM." It's easy for them to recommend, because they are on your side. You must ask yourself are the people closest to me giving me a warning signal? A big red light?... Are they more removed from the emotional dynamic of the relationship, that they see things from a different view than mine?

Do I have you thinking now?


5 Ways To Know When To Ditch A Relationship?

 

1. You feel a need to change them!

Can you really change someone? Think about how hard it is for you to change. It's hard to eat right and lose weight, right?  It's hard to drop bad habits, right?  It's hard to stop judging others, right?  The list goes on, right?  The only way a person can change is to generate enough desire and personal power to overcome what's holding them back, right?  If it's so hard for you to change, then how hard is it to change others? Especially if the other person doesn't possess the desire or drive to change. When you enter a relationship, "What you see is what you get!" I don't know how many women I know, who while single met some party animal at the local pub and feel in love. Then when they enter into the relationship they want to transform their party animal into a stay at home sober type of guy. If you want that type of guy, you should have went man hunting at the library and avoided the local pub, right?  Likewise, if you want a woman who likes to throw down a few on the weekends and get a little crazy, then don't go looking for her in a strict Fundamentalist Baptist Church, right?

What if you don't need to "change the person" you are with, and need to "change persons"?

Do you FIX it, or DITCH it?

2. You have lost communication and support !

Hello, is anybody there? You find your partner with that far away look in their eye. The front porch light is on, but nobody is at home. You no longer communicate and share. You no longer feel support. Some relationships reach the point where you grow in different directions and you forgot why you started in the first place. You can't remember the common ground that once brought you together. The relationship evolves into more a roommate situation and you end up sleeping beside a total stranger. A total stranger, you're beginning to know too well, and you don't like what you see. You feel stuck, lost, forgotten, and alone.

No Communication: You don't feel heard!

No Support: You feel like you do it all! 

The stress of it begins to make you ill.

Do you FIX it, or DITCH it?

3. Your relationship is a struggle! 

 Life was never meant to be a struggle. If you are struggling through life then you are not in flow. A relationship should have a sense of flow, shouldn't it?  I'm not saying that you will never encounter difficult or trying times, but you both should be in flow. You face the trails together with a sense of harmony, not harming one another, right?  When a relationship is one big struggle, one big fight, always walking on egg shells, then something is wrong, right? Two people have two wills and a Spiritual and healthy relationship is where two wills decide to walk through life in one accord; creating harmony, not harm.  I'm not saying you can't have different interest, different aspects of your life, and  a sense of individuality. I'm saying it shouldn't be a hassle, a fight, and a struggle when you express it. You should be affirming one another and celebrating your differences. You shouldn't COMPETE against one another, but COMPLETE one another.

A relationship doesn't have to be a struggle!

Do yo FIX it, or DITCH it?


4. You no longer have fun! 

You should still have fun no matter how long you have been together.

You should still show each other affection.

You should still be intimate unless it's a health issue.

You should be able to be alone together and enjoy each other. You should have fun together.

No matter how long you have been with each other you should still have that spark. You should still touch, affirm, love, laugh, cry, share, hold and adore one another.

My soul mate and I rarely leave each others side. We have manifested a "Free Life" where we are able to be around each other 24/7. We had this vision since we were first together and it took us five years to manifest it into reality. I'm not saying that you are your life partner should follow that same path. You might have different vocational interest which would make the being together 24/7 impossible. What I am saying is that was our path. We hang out 24/7 and have a blast together. We are constantly joking, playing and making love. 

You can manifest a relationship that is a blast.

Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you no longer have fun with? 

Do you FIX it, or DITCH it?



5. You no longer work as a team!

Life can be tough alone. The real reason you got in a relationship is to attack life as a team. You set out to kick life's ass, right? Big dreams, high hopes, and a vision of your future. You got into this relationship to build a life together, right?  If you don't have the above 4 points working in your life then your relationship has lost the team spirit. If you can't change the person you are with, if you have lost communication and support, if you are caught in one big struggle, and you no longer have fun, then you are trapped in a toxic relationship. You are no longer a team. You have lost the team spirit and are no longer building a life. You might as well be beating a dead horse. 

Do you FIX it, or DITCH it? 


Only you can decide!


The leaving of relationship is a tough call to make and only you can make that call. I think I stayed in a toxic relationship too long and looking back I should have DITCHED  it sooner. You never really know, but  you can feel it moving in that direction. If the relationship is toxic and causing you emotional harm you should at least remove yourself from it for a time. It is a difficult call. If you are in a physically abusive relationship you should leave quick. No one deserves that type of environment or treatment....get help fast!  If you can't fix your relationship then you have to DITCH it. It is better to go through life alone, than to be trapped in a toxic relationship. You might need to seek help...either through friends, family, or professionally. If you have to DITCH it the road can be challenging, but will be better for your Spiritual and emotional health in the long run.

Remember, only you can decide, but you have to live with your decision.

If you can't FIX it, you have to DITCH it.


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